Two More Broken Hearts
by Septimus Butters
Summary: Kaiba has never been one for romance, but you can't dodge Cupid forever. A trip to the game shop changes the young man's life forever as he discovers an unexpected passion.


**Hey everyone! This is my first Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic, so please tell me what you think! **

**Two more broken hearts**

Kaiba woke up, covered in sweat. His raunchy dream was still fresh in his mind. He could remember everything. He only wished he could forget it.

He clambered out of bed, his freshly laundered nightshirt clinging to his elegant back. He looked like a regal heron as he descended the stairs to the kitchen, to acquire a large tumbler of milk. He needed to cool off. As he crossed the corridor, his stout sibling Mokuba trundled towards him, reeky and interfering as always.

"Hey Seto!" Mokuba crooned "What are you doing up this late?"

Kaiba was enraged. "Get out of the way, you plump prat!" he hissed, pushing Mokuba out of the way and kicking him to the ground. Mokuba wailed as he fell, his stocky quads flailing.

Once he was in the kitchen, Kaiba tore the fridge door off its hinges and stuffed his entire torso into the whopper fridge, rummaging around for the sensuous crème that would soothe his racing aorta and his flaming privates. He flung it all over his body when he found the blessed elixir, but then the image of his dreamboat lover returned to his eyes. Kaiba fell to his knees and wept, remembering the first time he set eyes on the handsome daspygal.

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><p>It was the hottest day in Domino for years. Kaiba entered the Kame Game shop, in search of a rare and valuable card, the Blue Eyes White Dragon. He stormed through the doors and grunted "Find me a blue-eyes, or I'll set my geese on you!"<p>

"Calm down, sonny!" came a croaky, sex-evocative voice. It reminded Kaiba of his dad. He looked down and saw a sodorous, bristled draconian staring up at him and rubbing his extreme belly. He was wearing skin tight pinstriped breeks and a suave gleaming polyester cowl.

"I've been painting!" the squat gnome warbled. Kaiba felt unbelievably aroused by this diminutive geriatric. As hard as he tried, he couldn't peel his eyes from his Eccles-cakes sculpted torso and bulging moobs.

"Uh... have you always worked here?" Kaiba brayed, blushing and grinding acutely against the service desk.

"Oy, aye, I've seen you in here often!" The rowdy tub wheezed, stuffing his hands down his trousers.

Kaiba wet his pants. "Then how come I've never noticed you before?"

"Most of the time me g-son Yuugi mans the stall!" he said. He said g-son because, for some unbeknown reason, he felt the need to impress this lanky hobbledehoy. There was something about the grease-saturated mullet and the swanky, mule-braying vocals that made Solomon feel weak at the knees. The sweet drainpipe pantaloons helped accentuate all of Kaiba's 'assets' as well.

Grandpa began to puff out his ample bosom, and shoved a sticky dessert into his mouth to sooth his nerves. He hadn't felt like this since 1900.

Meanwhile, Kaiba was struggling with his own inner turmoil. He felt like this corpulent codger was someone he could trust. He felt so natural around him. And yet... could he trust himself to live up to the standards required by someone so "experienced"..?

"What...what is your name?" Kaiba whimpered, trembling with passion.

"Solomon!" Mr Motou rasped, his beard whipping Kaiba in the hip, his rosy lips as enticing as a perfect blossom, damp with spit and surrounded by grey bracken. He reminded Kaiba of a figurehead, portly and majestic, his beard flying in the convection currents of the conditioning system.

Solomon leaned forward , blowing dung all over Kaiba.

"You fetching dong!" screamed Kaiba, as Grandpa launched himself over the till and drew closer to Kaiba's ajar chops. This was it.

Suddenly there was the patter of footsteps as a microscopic gent appeared in the doorway.

"Grand-pa?" Came a twee exclamation from the master of the house, Yuugi.

Kaiba loped out of the shop, his cheeks aflame, while Solomon watched, a regretful tear in his optical.

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><p><strong>Oh, I wish I'd given Grandpa and Kaiba a happier ending. Love, Septimus. <strong>

**P.S. Please review! **


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